I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
