Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
