It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
