mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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