literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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