She's JV to your varsity
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
