My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize