That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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