dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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