I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
