Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
