After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
so much tequila, so little girl.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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