Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
