jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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