I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
