you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
