Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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