Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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