Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
