also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
