Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's never too late to be topless.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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