is your mom at the bar?
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
don't judge my taste in strippers
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
