Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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