Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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