See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she peed on how many people?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
