did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
