If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
