TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize