Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize