At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
