I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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