I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
