Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
