After last night, I could never be a politician.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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