Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize