At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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