He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
