just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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