Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize