The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize