i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
