he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
