Have you finally orgasmed yet?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
