Whoa Z and x make the same sound
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
