I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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