some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I could make wine with my vomit
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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