he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
