he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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