At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
