Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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