youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
