pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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