OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
