Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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