i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
