You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
