he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
