the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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