I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
