hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize