Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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